He's a fat bastard.

  He's a sheep.

  He's probably homosexual.

  He uses Jordan to hide his homosexuality.

  He'd rather fuck his 'sweet machine' than go anywhere with anyone.

  He spends ALL of his money on console games.

  He's obsessed with wrestling

  He doesn't drink.

  He doesn't know how to smoke.

  He tries to have a night out with one quid.

  He bullshits about seeing mates from Primary School.

  He never does black belt moves.

  He stinks of two hundred kinds of shit.

  Daddy hasn't taught him how to shave yet.

  HE'S REBELLISH!

  He waddles like a duck with a nappy on.

  He fancies your arse.

  He tries to pull Irishmen.

  He's scared of socialising.

  He's scared of girls.

  He tries to find mates where he has none.

  He's scared of getting served.

  He's scared of asking for booze.

  He's scared of the operator.

  He used to have an afro.

  He only washes with gel.

  He doesn't know how to shower.

  He can't defend himself.

  He won't meet up with penfriends.

  He tries to insult people who have more style than him.

  HE'S THE MOST BORING PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE!!!